My desire for him to love me had long since faded, and I thought I was happy just being his fiancée.
I was a poor noble who could use a slightly unusual kind of magic, unable to even prepare a decent dowry. He was Julius, a descendant of a prestigious mage family that had served the royal family since the founding of the kingdom.
It was an undeserved honor to be chosen as a partner by someone of a status so far above mine that it was almost intimidating to even speak to him. So I didn’t wish for anything more.
Furthermore, I was in a position to receive his support to study magic at a royal academy, something I could never afford. I’d convinced myself that I had no complaints, even when he looked at me with undisguised indifference, even when our conversations were minimal, and even when I saw him laughing intimately with other women.
It was okay not to be loved. I didn’t need kind words. Besides, it was a mismatch for me, small and shabby with movements far from graceful, to stand next to Julius, who was as beautiful as an ice sculpture. I had only wished to stay out of trouble—but now, my face was pale before his cold gaze.
“Louise, do you really understand what you’ve done?”
“I-I-I-I’m so sorry, but please, you have to believe me. I would never betray you, Julius…”
“You have the audacity to make excuses after writing such a ridiculous letter.”
His long, unblemished fingers unfolded a letter with three-fold marks. I didn’t need to check the contents. I had written it just two days ago.
My beloved, I want to see you more, I want to spend time with you alone. I hadn’t meant the nauseatingly sweet words. It was a childish game, a playful exchange of letters between noble ladies pretending to be maidens in love, kept secret from men. When Meritta, who studied at the same academy, first invited me to play, I wasn’t very enthusiastic, but it was a bit lonely—and fun—to spin words I’d never be able to use in real life.
…I never dreamed that Julius would find the letters and suspect me of infidelity.
“You hid seven letters in a box sealed with magic. You won’t tell me who they’re for. How am I supposed to believe you?”
“I’ll explain the circumstances later. I s-swear I won’t lie. So please…”
His deep indigo eyes, like a winter sky, pierced me, and my voice trembled. Even if it was just a game, a love letter is still a love letter, and since the recipient was Meritta, who came from a northern region where women are expected to be especially chaste, I couldn’t be careless. As a result, I had to beg for leniency in an extremely suspicious situation.
(What should I do if Julius doesn’t forgive me?)
What should I do if he breaks up with me, if he tells me to leave the academy tomorrow, if I betray the expectations of my family?
If my marriage doesn’t go well, it could affect my younger sister’s future.
I was chosen to be Julius’s fiancée because my inborn magical power had a unique structure. But it was only unusual, not particularly powerful. If he found anything he didn’t like, it wouldn’t be strange for him to break off the engagement immediately.
(…Because Julius doesn’t love me at all.)
I knew that. I’d known for more than ten years.
My plain, ordinary life, with my only joy being the study of magic, was transformed by the appearance of my fiancé, a shining star who was forever out of my reach. The look of disappointment on his face when we first met was forever seared into my mind.
I was a flawed bride who would be shunned if I got too close and ignored if I stayed away. To be honest, when he told me he had seen the letters, I couldn’t believe it. Julius had entered my room at the academy, found the box I had hidden under my bed, and broken the magical seal.
I couldn’t believe he would go to such trouble for me. Or perhaps he thought he could break off the engagement with good reason if he proved my infidelity. Since the engagement was unofficial until we left the academy, he might have thought now was the time.
A bad feeling swirled in my head. My pleas ran out, and as I gripped my hands, Julius sighed in exasperation. He looked down at me from above with his perfectly sculpted face, and my stomach clenched.
“I understand you want me to believe the letters are a misunderstanding.”
“Y-yes…”
“Of course, I don’t want to doubt my fiancée, but you must understand that it’s difficult given the current situation.”
“…………Yes.”
A ragged breath escaped my dry lips. Fearing that he might hear my heart pounding as if it would burst, I instinctively backed away, but Julius gripped my wrist tightly. He pulled my swaying body toward him, not allowing even the slightest distance.
“Uhm, what, what should I do…?”
As I stiffened against a strength I couldn’t have imagined from his slender appearance, his clean lips moved closer to my ear. His platinum hair, rustling softly, brushed against my face.
I was flustered by a proximity I had never experienced before. His whispered words, mixed with his breath, were strangely gentle.
“If you want to clear your name, you need to prove your innocence.”
“I-I know, but…”
“I’m not asking for your heart. You just need to show that your body is worthy of the position you’re expected to fill, right here.”
“Eh…”
I didn’t understand what Julius was saying. Vague possibilities floated in my mind, but none seemed right, so I couldn’t make sense of them.
Maybe—Julius was asking me to prove my physical purity. But how could I prove that without presenting my internal organs?
Or was there a kind of “magical proof” I didn’t know about? If so, I would certainly obey, but could it be a simple spell that could be used on the spot?
Even the anti-fornication spell, which prevents unwanted intercourse, takes several days to take effect after it’s cast.
He put his hand on my back and pulled me close, into an almost-embrace. Julius began to speak. His thin skin brushed my ear, and a shiver ran down my spine.
It was the first time I’d felt the warmth hidden beneath the skin of my ice-like fiancé. And then.
“—Louise, don’t make too much noise.”
With that quiet, yet somehow commanding voice, then his fingers traced a path from my spine to my tailbone.
“Jul-Julius, please, stop…”
“Was it a lie when you said a moment ago that you’d do anything to clear your name?”
“No, it’s not…but this, ah!”
My trembling voice echoed in the room, lit by the faint moonlight. This was one of the mansions where the children of the highest-ranking families at the academy resided. If I made a loud noise, someone would come running.
I knew that, but I couldn’t suppress my scream-like voice. My throat trembled on its own every time his long fingers entered deep inside me.
“…It’s tight. It’s so tight it hurts.”
“Agh, no…mm, ah, ahhh…”
It was the first time I had ever set foot in Julius’s bedroom. In a place utterly inappropriate for an unmarried woman, I was pinned on a large bed.
My simple, modest dress was pulled up to my knees, and my pushed-down undergarments were caught around my ankles.
I couldn’t believe what was happening to me. I had never been kissed, yet his fingers were pressed against my lips, telling me to lick them. The faint hint of excitement in his eyes as he leaned over me felt completely unreal, yet my body was heating up.
The tight, closed membranes were repeatedly opened by his fingers. As the inner folds of flesh were deliberately stretched open, I began to lubricate, but the stiffness from accepting a foreign object for the first time wouldn’t go away.
Still, when the pad of his finger gently stimulated my lower abdomen, a sweet numbness popped like bubbles.
“Ah…stop, not there, ah, mm-hmm.”
I brought my knees together, letting out a terribly improper sound. I shouldn’t be reacting; this was an act to prove my innocence.
Even though I understood that, I didn’t know how to deal with the sensation of my nerves being directly stroked.
In my blurred vision, I saw Julius’s twisted smile.
“With a face like that, you can’t be very convincing when you say you’ve never led a man on.”
“I’m so sorry…mm…gh…”
“This part is happy to be licked, too.”
He slid his finger in and out shallowly, making a wet sound, and my toes curled tightly. I was so embarrassed that my insides melted against my will, clinging to his finger as if pleasure had overwhelmed fear.
Surely Julius was disgusted. To find pleasure in such a situation was a problem far more fundamental than my purity.
“Ah…”
He finally withdrew his finger, and I held my breath. Afraid of staining my dress with the overflowing wetness, I tried to clench my opening, but suddenly, air touched my membranes.
His fingers, probably his thumbs, were stretching me open inside.
My fluttering, honey-secreting flesh was all on display. The moment I understood, every pore on my body opened.
“Don’t, don’t look…please, I beg you…”
“Louise, let’s make a wager. If you can endure what’s about to happen, I will admit your innocence and apologize.”
If you can’t endure it—I couldn’t quite hear the rest of his words.
My heart pounded so hard it shook my temples, and the sound of blood rushing filled my head. But when Julius, with a faint smile, slowly bent down and lowered his lips to my inner thigh, a terrifying premonition, like a blade piercing my chest, spread through me.
No way, I thought, as I tried to pull my hips away, but it was already too late. A moist breath fell on a part of my body that should have been sealed.
Then, a hot, soft thing traced the muddy entrance, and I suppressed a scream that was about to erupt.
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